Saturday, May 16, 2020

Word Choice and Private Thoughts Are Always Interesting! By Denny C


One of the issues I had in the beginning of my recovery was the words I would choose when speaking to someone.   Now why that was, I just don’t know.  Let me give you an example.  Let’s say I needed to go to the bathroom to relive myself.  If I was speaking to someone I might say, “O, I need to pee in the toilet!”  Instead of,” Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”     

Now my biggest issue was, I have what is called, no mental barriers.  A barrier in our brain is the ability to stop yourself from saying something you are thinking of privately and not blurt it out both good or bad.  For example if you don’t like something someone is wearing or something you’re eating, that was home made at someone house, and you just blurt out what you’re thinking.   Now not only have you embarrassed yourself, but also you are hurting the other person with those words. Now if they realize you have that issue, it makes it even harder for them to deal with it!  Why you ask?  One, you spoke to them what you really thought of the situation.  Two, they realize you don’t have the ability to keep your true thoughts inside.  Third, they might still have to live with the negative opinion from someone they love and care about who just spoke up about how their clothes looked or their food tasted.

In the beginning the person with this issue might not realize what they are saying is wrong to say!  I know that I didn’t.  I just said whatever I was thinking about, anything about anybody, good or bad.  I would speak out about it, whether it was right or wrong to speak out about it, out loud!  Eighteen years later, it really bothers me about how bad it was for me back then!  Moreover, even though I fully understand why it was happening, I’m still very embarrassed.
I could not keep it to myself, nor could I tell a lie!  You would think that having a person around you, who could not lie, even if they wanted to, was marvelous!  However, in this culture everyone is into the little white lies, I couldn’t!  Over time due to losing the type of work I loved doing, do to certain issues in my private life, I would fool myself into believing I was someone else, and able to be  fool others I was this new person!  Those thoughts is what I used to give myself a better opinion of myself, after crying out to the Lord asking why was I not protected from those life events!!

I really hate to confess to you in writing, but I was hurt, mad, and upset with the Lord!  Boy am I a stupid man!  If anything the love of the Lord is why He let me live!  He let me live to not only look at myself and the ugly , horrible hurt that I had gone through in my life, but that by His grace He helped and is helping me rebuild both my physical and spiritual life.
Since that had happened, I was like Peter who denied the Lord 3 times, except I was denying the Lord in many ways!  However, let me say this, there is no soul, no human on earth that is or was perfect, except Jesus the Christ!  Before my brain injury, I constantly passed judgement on many people, issues, and works of others.  Yet the Lord stated, Judge not that you ne not judged!  “John 7:1 KJV

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