Navigating Life After Severe Brain Injury:    A Family's Journey 

By Denny C

     When a family member suffers a severe brain injury, the impact ripples through the entire family. The sudden and profound change to daily life requires families to find strength, adaptability, and resilience in ways they never imagined. Here, we explore the journey that families embark on, the challenges they face, and the strategies they develop to cope and find hope.

Immediate Aftermath: Shock and Survival

    The initial phase following a severe brain injury is often marked by shock and an intense focus on survival. Families are thrust into a world of medical jargon, emergency surgeries, and intensive care units. During this time, the primary focus is on the injured family member's recovery, with parents, siblings, or spouses often staying by their side around the clock.

Emotional Rollercoaster: Grief and Adjustment

    As the injured person stabilizes, the emotional journey begins. Families grapple with grief for the loss of the person they once knew, as severe brain injuries can result in significant changes in personality, cognition, and physical abilities. The unpredictability of recovery—where progress can be slow and uncertain—adds to the emotional burden. It's a time of mourning, but also a period of adjustment as families begin to understand and accept the new normal.

Practical Challenges: Daily Life and Caregiving

    The long-term phase of dealing with a brain injury involves navigating the practical challenges of daily life. This includes managing medical appointments, rehabilitation therapies, and often taking on the role of a caregiver. Families must adapt their homes to make them accessible and safe, which can be financially and logistically demanding. Caregiving can be both physically exhausting and emotionally draining, as it requires a constant balance between providing support and encouraging independence.

Seeking Support: Professional Help and Community Resources

    Families often find strength in seeking professional help and community resources. Psychologists, counselors, and support groups can provide much-needed emotional support and coping strategies. Rehabilitation centers offer specialized therapies to help the injured person regain as much independence as possible. Community organizations and charities can provide financial assistance, respite care, and social opportunities, helping to ease the burden on families.

Finding Hope: Celebrating Progress and New Beginnings

    Despite the challenges, many families find hope and joy in the journey. Progress, no matter how small, is celebrated. Families learn to appreciate the new strengths and capabilities of their injured loved one. The experience often brings families closer together, fostering a deeper sense of compassion, empathy, and resilience.

Conclusion

    The journey of a family dealing with severe brain injury is one of profound change and adaptation. It requires a balance of emotional resilience, practical problem-solving, and an unyielding hope for the future. Through the support of professionals, community resources, and each other, families navigate this challenging path, discovering new strengths and forging new bonds along the way.

    Navigating the world post-brain injury is an ongoing process, filled with ups and downs. But families, united in their love and commitment, often emerge stronger and more resilient, ready to face the future together.

For more information, support, and direction you may follow me on "X" @Lifelucky, Email: thefamilyfactor@live.com or may call or text me at 405-353-0213

The Problem of Thinking Out Loud....the Good the Bad and the Ugly by Denny C

 

  I have the unfortunate issue of no matter what I’m thinking, I tend to speak it. The phrase or terminology my neuropsychologist used is called “no barrier”. While that's great in many ways, in others it is not so good!

   How many times guys, have we men always said we liked what the significant other was wearing, looked like, cooked, or watching on tv, when inside our mind its not what we think? Now no disrespect to any women I’ve been around, but men, we know inside we might not have been telling them what we truly think, so not to rock the relationship boat!

    Now like I said, having no barrier to keep within ourselves what we are truly thinking can be a huge problem, just ask my wife Cyndi! I’ve hurt her without wanting to ,all due to speaking what I’m thinking. Now I will tell you this, though, its a positive when it comes to communicating in other areas.

    When my 1st wife filed for separation and divorce, some very serious charges were brought against me. What she, her family, and attorney were not aware of was if the allegations where true, with this injury it would worked against them.

    I really appreciated the Judge over our case, for he decided to put her allegations to the test one way or the other, by having both of us getting tested by a serious sexual and pornographic mental test , that unto this day ,that test offended me!! Let me explain that test.

    I had to strap different probs to my chest and my penis. And in my right hand I had to press a button every time a nude picture of a child or adult came on the screen regardless of gender. Then I had to wear headphones at the same time, and to listen to a offensive porno story that was in line with the pics that flashed up.

    Not only did I pass as a healthy, normal heterosexual man, but the doctor even apologized and said this is what was needed to prove one way or the other if those allegations were true. Guess what, they weren’t!

    But the fact I have no barrier was great proof as well! Like I said there are both positives and negatives to having no barrier. I’m blessed with whom I’m with now, but still it can be a pain for her, sorry Cyndi!

"More Water Please" by Denny C

         

Well, today I found out that I have diabetes 2. Oh what joy but not the end of my ride on this great walk of life. I get to eat differently, exercise, and say no thankyou to sweet tea, pop, deserts. And say. “More water please.”, with a smiley face, lol. But you know what? I’m fine with it

        But you know what? I’m fine with it! I’ve bounced back from a severe brain injury, after almost dying, and I’ll not let this stop me either. This year there will be a lot going on the Family Factor, both on here and on our Youtube channel. If this blog or our Youtube channel gives your help in different areas recovering from brain injury, please follow us also on twitter at @Lifelucky and our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/TheFamilyFactor/

        Our Youtube page will also be a podcast as well. And my old radio show, The Family Factor, will be added back to the podcast as well!! Thanks for reading!!

The Month of December.......By Denny C.

    

 The month of December, has been one of my favorite times of the year, for fun with friends  and family and some of the best memories have been born around this time. And yet sometimes it can be one of the hardest and emotional times as well.

    Sometimes those with brain injury can have small to a drastic change in their personality and what they like. So sometimes you think, “Oh Denny loves this dessert during Christmas, or I just know he will love this type of gift , he’s into those type of things.” Only to realize that they might not like eating the same way they did before, or that their tastes may have drastically changed or they’re no longer into that type of games, or clothes, or shows, or movies, or music. And the list could go on and on, even their favorite color might have changed, or the words they use might be different than the words they used before.

    And yet they look mainly the same, their voice might sound the same, depending on the injuries they might have had or being on a vent. But they are still going by the same name. And yet if only they could recover 100%. Now coming to you being one of those who has a severe brain injury, they too might want to make those around them happy by being 100% they might not ever be. I’m different and it took a while for my family to get use to the changes I have in me. Not major changes mind you, but differently changes.

    Now back to the point of this blog for today. Be happy! Yes be happy, it never does any good to waller in self-pity and be upset with yourself, if certain people don’t hang out with you like they did in the past. Or they talk to you less when you’re gathered together. Just move forward and strive to be all you are and can be. Being down never changes anything, but being up and positive about yourself each day, can help you overcome and experience, or see things you never dreamed you would ever do!!!

    And for those of you who are the ones who have had a friend or family member who survived a  severe brain injury and they seem to not be the same, deep down they are , they cannot help the changes in their thinking and likes and dislikes or even communication abilities they once had. So just grow to know the new person they might be and live them and help them where they need it and where they will let you do it.

    If you would ever like to reach out to me, you can follow me on Twitter at @Lifelucky or you can go to our YouTube Page!! You can Follow us on Facebook at the Family Factor email me  at thefamilyfactors@gmail.com And if you need me to ever come and speak to your church or group you may email me or call me at 405-265-8006. May you and your Family be blessed!!

Hmm...Second Chances , but What About Forgetting Those You Know and Love??

           For some who have experienced severe brain injury, it's like waking up as a toddler, or maybe even a one year old.  When I woke up from my induced coma after the brain injury incident,  it was like being a toddler.  I remembered 11!!all of those from my childhood, but not my wife back then , my children, or those who I knew as an adult, maybe a teenager!!  

           That has to be one of the hardest things to experience, especially if you are the spouse, children or a friend when they don't remember or even recognize them.  That was me!  

            And when I think about that in this day and time , I think it explains why my wife of those day separated from me and then filed for divorce.  And due to my thinking be different I believe that and not having daily relationship with them is why my children slowly faded away to the point the broke of my relationship with them.

            Let me tell you something you have to remember.  You ability to remember  your current relationships, your current age, where you've been living, what field of work your currently in, you might not remember at the current time when you are in rehabilitation!  But you know what?  That is currently fine!!  And for some of those who have had certain kinds of brain injuries you might never remember certain things or not remember anything  after a certain  part of your life or you might have to grow up again  completely with  a new life!  

          Just don't  blame yourself  !! It's just a type of life you might have to live.  But do not throw your new life away!  I didn't!!  As my blogs start getting posted  I pray I can be a help to anyone  in the world of brain injury!

     Why Life is a Pinball ...by Scooter C  May 3rd 2022

     Last weekend I went to a gathering of  Christian men, from all over the country.  The meeting is  called "Men's Advance". It is in  Stillwater, Oklahoma .  And normally it is every year  around the end of April.   

    Their theme this year was, "Life is a Pinball", and it really showed how each and every one of us are nothing than a pinball,  that constantly gets bumped by  the decisions we make, the actions of others,  and circumstances we face and go through in our lives.   

    This got me to thinking about  recovering form a severe brain injury.  How as you take each step  in recovery, there are going to be  many bumpers in the way of progress, that can shove and push you back ,several steps.  Only to have to start over again, and the frustration it causes.

    For anyone in life who is recovering from anything, I mean anything , there will always be bumpers as you, being like a pinball, roll though this life.  Say you have ,for a long time, been  clean from drugs abuse .  Whether it be  drugs, legal or illegal, alcohol,  pornography, overeating, gambling, spending beyond your monthly income , or a person who constantly is lying to others, on the phone  or even in Facebook, twitter etc.   You've worked hard to beat what ever it is  or like me you  have been recovering from a severe injury to your brain or  body, or heart , only leading you to sometimes want to throw in the towel and quit, DON'T!!

    Your life is worth it!! Don't quit, maybe stop, shut off everything  around you, and breath  and pray to the Father in heaven.   He will hear you. He knows what your going through and though Him you can always make it, but there is one important  statement you must not ever forget.  IN HIS TIME!  I told myself that I wanted my life to go back to normal NOW, right at THIS TIME!!  And of course it didn't and it doesn't .  Real life is not  like that.  However as the song says ," In His time , in His time . He makes all things beautiful in His time. Lord please show me every day, as Your teaching me Your way. That You do just what You say, in Your time."  

    If I were to look at a the Fathers thoughts on this life inside a pinball machine, where I'm the pinball in play   the scripture  I would use , in the KJV , would be Psalms 130:5, "I wait on the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope." 

    Now let me close with this last thought, What is your scripture?  What is your thought about your life in this maze of pinball?  If I can ever be of a help please contact me  !  

    So don't give up , grow in your faith, for out of it,  will you grow in  your patience. Overcoming what ever  bumper  you come up against and let the Lord and His word correct  your  paths  toward  peace , rest and happiness.

  

Branson is not a Misery in Missouri ! Really its not!

  Well  my wife  Cyndi and I had a wonderful weekend together at Branson. We went and saw Sight and Sounds "Jesus" which is a must see!!  It was a great musical  of the life of Jesus from birth to his death  and  resurrection on the earth.  

    We saw another musical  and story  about a Baptist  Church  in the 30's . great southern gospel music !!  And while there was a lot of  comedy , in my opinion the  funniest character was  played by  a young lady  who  was more funny  , as my wife said then most male comedians!!  

     Now to the purpose of this post, happiness.  What is happiness?    You know 20 years ago  this Friday  is the 20th anniversary  of the  car wreck that  told me that nope I'm not superman  and  nope my head is not made of steel.   20 years ago my ex-wife was told that I wasn't expected to live, and if I lived I would be nothing more than a 1 year old, due to the  severe brain injury. 

      Happiness was not waking up in T.I.R.R.  after being  transferred 3 weeks earlier from Herman hospital  where the brain surgery took place  and  where I was put in  a induced coma for  over 30 days then  transferred  to T.I.R.R.  

     Happiness is not  meeting someone only to forget who they are with in 10 minutes, only to forget ,and then  meet them again 10 minutes later and ask who they are.  I was literally the  30 second memory dude off of the movie 50 1st dates!!

    Happiness is not  knowing who your ex-wife is when she is still your wife  and you don't recognize them and your dad keeps saying to you she's your girlfriend, due to the  issue with my brain. 

     Happiness is not  know simple words of the English language and the word you choose might mean the same thing but it is not what you would normally use in your day to day language.

     Happiness is not being able to keep  mouth shut, due to a non barrier issue,  when you think about what  to say  and it can be something really dumb or  that the other party didn't need to know.    For when it happens, it can cause hurt feelings and anger in the other people you are speaking  to, and can cause an escalation  to the events you are talking about.     

     Happiness is not being shunned and put down by the spouse you gave your life to  and  to be accused of things you would never do, to have to spend a lot of money to prove your innocence only to never be told ,"sorry" form them.

     Happiness is  not  being told you can never  do the same work that you loved doing for 15 years  due to the lies and the so called sin you were guilty of that you committed in private, that your repented of and  confessed in private prayer.

     Happiness is not  to see your children taken across state lines from you while your still recovering at T.I.R.R and see you own parents  hurt by what the other party is doing to you,  their chu ,while you are still recovering from a major injury.

     Now I could go on and on with what happiness is not , but why would I ?  I am nothing but blood and bone and  soul.  And happiness is that  Jesus  of Nazareth, being the son of God  and fashioned as a man , became that living sacrifice for the sins of us all!! 

     I'm nothing  but Jesus helped me realize that I'm  actually something!  So happiness is the blessings of having 20 years of recovery and growth and experience in things I might not have ever experienced if it had not been for that wreck 20 years ago!!

    What good is a life ,if all I do is sit and  have my heart feasting on anger and sadness for the hurt, the lies, and the issues that came about due to my own foolish choices, decisions, and actions.

       Your not perfect  and if you are a saved  Christian , then do not let  the  life of your past or present ,with the mistakes you have made or are currently making,  tear you up and not  press forward in the steps of life  of happiness !!!  For if you  do it, will keep you bitter toward yourself and others!!   Then those who  were out to hurt you, and defeat you, will win!!